turtle: have not seen such beauty as I do? You almost want to see pop out of the eyeball.
toad: Girl, you Give me a break me, did not see me have goose bumps yet?
2, oriole seen in the foraging of the weasel, said: weasel scolded: Dragonflies do not trust the mother asked: she to do?
Dragonfly: That was singer Oh!
Dragonfly mother: singer? Ago a tunneling!
4, an ant and tree crow fight!
ants: You kind of give me down!
Crow: So, you kind of give me up!
ants: Good! I'm waiting for you to have you look good!
Crow: What do you want?
ant: I'll go get all my brothers shake you down and killed along with you!
5 cheap oakleys, both the welfare lottery feces shell mantis, a dragonfly feces shell: I want to put in a radius of 50 miles of award to buy down the toilet, eat your fill!
B feces shell dragonfly: Ah Tai Su! If I won the lottery to bag a living, eat fresh!
6, male to female butterflies butterfly sings:
along came the scream, the mother butterfly sings: River cave in the hibernating frog couple. Drake: Look, more happiness. Duck on drake: Do not look, the big boss, live in villas, honeymoon, we say nothing in this life even think about!
8, the first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home.
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home.
third day, the rabbits arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at a small rabbit exclaimed:
TMD If you dare to use the carrot as bait, I flat die!
(a) a drink to go home village into the wrong pen, the sow lying beside said: Wife: Give me a glass of water, sow hum a hum, the village head said, do not chant will not fall down , Caesar what Johnson. Readily touched, said: buy leather you, or double-breasted it.
(b) of the old couple to take pictures, the photographer asked:
(c) of the day, a barber put a beat to sell candied fruit, and to the police station the police asked the barber: Why did you beat to sell candied fruit? My barber said :***, perm in the house, he shouted out children, I really envy you, so fast. Mrs. A: Nepal ancient pound cat! Startled foreigners, even the elderly will be a foreign language! Donated its chocolate, dried sweet potatoes the old lady thought it was, said: I Laiwu there! Foreigners fainted!
(f) butterflies to bees, said: You're a petty, packed in a sweet belly but are reluctant to give me a bee said: Well! I said it, you two antennas on his head so long Why do not message me it.
(g) {peer} love beetles and mosquitoes, beetles: The. Wife: ten, her husband: the whole it? Wife: it is too early, others do not sleep! I asked ten o'clock it? Wife: eleven in the whole bar.
(i) the couple fighting, put a pillow thrown downstairs, a beggar just passing through, Jinki, then flew the next quilt, beggars ecstasy, wiping away tears, rushed upstairs shouting: upstairs brother, I pray, that woman has dropped to come.
(x) Wife: night is not trying to Events? Husband: the old thought, his wife: not allowed to say that tired after work that night not the spirit, can not fool get away, her husband: a must, wife: for that night, my clothes are washing it.
(k) a young woman out the trash, accidentally slipped in the garbage heap, about getting up, by a scavenging old man in his arms, feeling the old man said: people just do not live in town, Do not say such a good wife, do not the.
(xii) a sudden change NPC toe green, miracle-working doctor diagnosed cancer, so the removal of a few days, two toes become blue, the removal of three days later, the whole foot becomes green, had to switch to large hospitals, and finally expert consultation diagnosis: socks fade.
an agricultural town to catch a donkey, donkey red light, fined $ 10. Drink donkey farmer: Farmer is more gas: Farmer rage, shouted: Farmer fire: Farmer tears Road, . Farmer said: ;
secretary called to her husband: CEOs these days I want to go to Beijing for a meeting to call her husband
lover: My wife was not at home these days, with me < br> Valentine's called counseling students: the teacher something these days, closed
students called Grandpa: these days not in class, you play with grandfather grandfather to the Secretary
phone: Beijing can not go, and grandson asked me to accompany her husband to call the Secretary of
: CEOs suddenly something not to Beijing for a meeting of the
husband to lover to call: my wife does not go , another time to counsel students call
lover: as usual these days!!!
students to call Grandpa: 555 teacher said usual these days ;
grandfather to the Secretary of the call: or go to Beijing it, you are ready to prepare
3. a beggar knocked on the window said: Give me some money.
Mr. read, said: give you a cigarette it.
beggar said: I do not smoke, give me some money.
, said: I car have beer, you drink a bottle bar.
beggar said: I do not drink wine, give me some money.
, said: That way, I take you to mahjong, I pay you betting, win your.
beggar said: I do not gamble, give me money.
, said: I'll take sauna to enjoy on the train, and I take you back, let my wife see: a non-smoking, no drinking, no gambling, no prostitution a good man can be mixed Chengsha Yang!
4. from the police academy Mr. Zhang graduated two years of marriage, the wife always felt some strange, suspected his wife was having an affair. day, Mr. Zhang is always found his wife on a cell phone text messages from strangers, and the contents of each message is the same: Zhao Xiong asked you to help me do something. Over 2 hours, snail not come back, the turtle anxious curse: fuck do not come back I would starve to death! When the door came the snail's voice: I do not say you are his mother had!
day, the cattle to the donkey out of a problem, ask Donkey brains, or could not answer. Cattle curse: the first ass really, Nanzuonvyou it!
2. seven years after graduation, finally picked up a big project, made a thirty meters chimneys, two months duration, cost three hundred thousand, but to Loaning. Finally finished at the end of last year out. Today people to come to acceptance, to be criticized, to die, not get paid. Damn! Drawings look backwards, others to dig a well!
3. a drunken man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by crowd, a police came: What happened? Drunk: do not know, I am also just arrived.
4. doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient, I think there are sand shoes, shoes on leaning poles shaking. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick they gave me two sticks!
5. Some say, turtles father, mother and son of a bitch turtle family decided to go hiking, they took a Shandong cake and two cans of chicken sea
end, they went off to Yangmingshan. Hard to climb ten years, finally arrived! They sat on the floor, remove the equipment standard
prepare dinner. Results, but found no band can opener!
son of a bitch: must wait for me back! can not go back on Oh!
turtle mother: a! Parents regardless of the turtle! Old couple decided to start.
pie is ready to open out to eat ... ...
Suddenly, son of a bitch Cong Shuhou stuck his head ... ...
son of a bitch: opener? I waited twenty-five years, I have to wait until the end
to be it! I hate most people lie to me!
6. small Xin: Dad, why my name inside it three gold ?
Dad: lack of gold in your life, so take the name of Xin, like some life in the water, it's called Miao, some life in the lack of wood called a forest.
small Xin: Dad Dad, you said that Guo Jingjing sister lives in the lack of what?
7. a couple friends sitting on a park bench on love, women suddenly want to fart.
of the man said: I Faculty Valley Birds call, you listen to like like.
men really than hear.
Thus, women in the Valley birds do not?
M: fart too loud, not hear!
8. turtle injured Let snail to buy medicine. over two hours. snail has not come back. turtle anxious curse: fuck do not come back I was dead! when the door came a snail's voice: I do not say you are his mother had!
9. somebody raising a pig, tired, abandoned, then return pork to know , the number jumped to no avail. day, the car turned a lot of bending abandoned pig, late-night call his family, asked: body, the ants were all fell down. At this point there is one in the elephant's neck, falling ants called loudly, crashed. Then a student stood up and said: eat a good amount.
13. Xiao Ming: ; was lost asked: No, ah ... ... the sentence: : ;
I am writing this letter slow, because I know you see the word offensive!
our next week 2 times the rain, the first four days under the second next three days!
you Huaguoshan been? I had a great time in heaven well, the absence of gravity, so the stool, urine, tears and snot all out for it, do not you bitter?
our delicious beef noodles here , another day you come with us to the West Street restaurant to eat hot pot!
your sister to be born Goddess, because they do not know a boy or a woman, we do do not know what you want to be uncle or aunt!
I send you the clothes you get it? afraid when I go to send overweight, so the buttons cut up In clothes pockets!
is late to write here, I am free to play here, remember not to drink plenty of water, or to the urine does not come out here very uncomfortable!
P. S had wanted to send money to you, but the envelope has been glued!
17. ; a patient to the doctor complaining of indigestion: I recently very normal, what to eat what pull, pull to eat cucumber cucumber, watermelon eating watermelon pull, how to restore normal? a doctor was silent a moment, that you can only eat shit up < br> 18. someone to go to Shanghai on business lost a dollar in the street, police said: He can not help but sigh, , put himself cut into four paragraphs to play mahjong, and earthworms father thought, put his cut into the minced meat. earthworm mother cried and said: Cut so the pieces will die! . said to him: you come, you are right .. I am back on the table and then snail .. .. .. after a while they see a turtle on ants .. he said: Come on you .. so the ants also come up. Ants up after the snail .. .. see above for his phrase , a fire, the father and mother escaped, leaving only one son still inside. Mother is very tense in the house shouted: .. Come out - have a fire, but also stay inside .....~ half-day leaves no fish bait, he changed the pieces of bread - the same long time did not fish on the hook - no way - he had to replace it, like earthworms, or half did not fish on the hook under the ~ ~ ~ He angrily threw into the water out 100rmb cursed: Buy their own! ! !
24. at the same table cold, runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, and have continued to nose forced inhalation nose. Writing on the blackboard the> language teacher suddenly turned a lot of noises: Teacher and> said:
replied: man; : Why do you print counterfeit money? criminals, said: the real one I will not print
27. Cowherd and Weaver met a bath down to earth, shaking ZZZZZZZZZ interpretation of a love story, this tells us: there is no opportunity to take a bath at home , so be sure to go outside to take a bath to wash .....< br> 28. Xiaoming toilet back to the classroom with a teacher said: : can not but speak out ah? > 30. The female mosquito is: not a good thing, one by one all eat shit grow up
31. I spent 80,000 to buy a Western Zhou pottery, called yesterday to
32. son: ah, and then what. the bullet is too scary! it? nurses, injections of the fortune. telling the master said: You, the first half doomed, no women; not the man's face lit up: That I should have a right later in life? fortune teller said: hey, to later life you get used to a person's life
37 . someone to eat beef noodles do not see a piece of beef, they pointed to the bowl and asked the boss: how beef is not beef noodles? boss said dismissively: Do not be too serious, do you expect from the wife eat cake in a wife?
38. three mice were tasting the United States, Japan, China, wine, drink American wine rats, go down three steps on; drink sake of the mouse, go to step 2 down; mice drinking Chinese Erguotou , holding a kitchen knife, shouted:
he died.
funeral that day.
his family cried: '
cool cool Ah ... Ah ....'
passersby puzzled. asked: 'What are cool A. '
family cried:' Shuangsi ... ... Shuangsi!!
41. a man to jump, just back to his wife and shouted: impulse, we still a long road! Chief carpool with elevator, the Secretary put a fart after chief said: You all can not afford to be magnanimous thing, should you use? Dear why I am so okay! The very creative, ugly is not my intention, God do not get angry, I will brave live with my endless creativity. to set off the beauty of this world! In fact, I really, really very creative ... < br> 45. to go hiking with friends, to the summit, a girl beautiful mountains and rivers face shouting: motherland ah! my mother! a crush on her boys quickly followed shouted: motherland ah! my wife's mother!
46 . before I bought two puppies, called the face! to a voice: and they had a falling out, and almost beat them, because some of them say that you monkeys, and some that you like the gorilla, too much! did not see you as a pig!
50. Panda birthday, on We said: I promised two wishes, one can cure my black eye, the other is hope that a color photo
51. Kuangzhui bees butterflies, snails, butterflies married. bees puzzled: he Where the butterfly better than I answer: whatever the outcome, have their own house, which, as you live in a dormitory
52. an elephant in the bath one day and suddenly there is an ant came to this elephant that you stand up. started to stand up. ant! you sit down and go. elephants do not understand Yeah you want to ask the ants. one will stand up and sit down for a while. ant replied! lost my underwear I see is not what you wear to steal
53. production team bought the only jackass, but a few days later he died. just a mare in heat. production team of staff on call to go on a business trip production team captain. , but the jackass is dead. is to buy the first jackass or you come back? disgusting things
55. a meteor across the night sky, I quickly make a wish, hope you can get some pretty Who knows just finished Xu wish meteor I was not intentionally make things difficult for you?! !
56. give me a canteen of bread as a fulcrum, I can tilt the Earth!
60. sophomore year, all quarters of the girls like Zhou Hua Jian's songs, a tape was borrowed by us to go. Day, capped with the girls asked: Zhou Hua Jian I do? Girls bunk answer: in my bed too! Silent two seconds, and then all fell to the bed.
61. classmate of a boy to take a sheng nicknamed Panzhu girls crying to the teacher, the teacher agreed to criticism of the boys, the next day in class, teachers in terms of: nicknames, can not someone like Han on Jiaosha it? Ordinary dogs look at it dismissively said: idiot, look, I was undercover!
seven Fairy Lake in the bath, Journey anxious not see.
monk solemnly toward the lake, shouting: donor, careful crocodile ah!
naked fairies flying ashore.
Journey sigh: Leadership IQ ah
monk can not go beyond four to travel by plane, the way the crash, but only three parachutes.
So monk said, and everyone to answer, not answer the jump.
Monkey: Monkey, the sky a few sun ah?
Goku: a.
Monkey: give you a hand.
Monkey: Drifting, the sky a few moon ah?
Drifting: A.
Monkey: also give you a hand.
happy side of the Pig, so simple question.
Monkey: Journey, the sky a few stars ah?
. . . .
Pig jumped down.
Before long, four of them and fly to travel. The way they crash, or only three parachutes.
they continue to answer questions.
Monkey: Monkey, when the People's Republic was established it?
Goku: 1949.
Monkey: give you a hand.
Monkey: Drifting, liberation war, 姝讳簡澶氬皯浜� ah?
Drifting: 250 million people.
Monkey: also give you a hand.
Monkey: Journey, that 250 million people is the name of what?
...... but only from a Pig jumped down.
third, four of them and to travel by plane, and the way they had an accident.
this time, Journey said: Master, you do not ask, I jump.
then plunged into the stream.
monk hands together: Amitabha, the parachute has four
1. One night, a naked man called a taxi, the driver stared at him intently, Naked furious and shouted: You not seen his mother naked ah! Driver also furious: I see where you money from his mother!
2. male and female friends to sleep in a room, the woman drew the line: off-line is brutal. Found that men really do not wake up over the line, woman severely beat a man slap in the face: you do not even like animals!
3. Hongtao encounter foreign visitors a day and tried to get in a word, saying: I am Hong TaoLiu, foreign guests, saying: I am his mother or side shows 70 too!
4. Zai Zai was my father repaired, he went to find her mother complained: Zai Zai: One day, asked his family to eat: cliff just a mouse waving paw, jump again and again, to learn to fly, bat watching it fall next to the mother's badly beaten, worried that: it father, or tell it, it we are not natural it!
7. and friends to the top of Taishan sunrise, a friend pointed to the sky, said: when the distance was Tizhaokuzai out curse: Ghost: God, I think the next reincarnation and angel white body, and with a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood.
God: What do you do Whisper it reborn.
2. A friend for the first time work-study program in the park Maibing Gun, sorry crying; this time, where one person suddenly shouted: That friend one, and my heart can be happy, to follow the call:
3. Ants and elephants get married soon, the elephant died. Ants while buried in the elephant, while crying: A boy crush on a girl and blow the courage to ask the girl what boys like
.
5. Day, I catch the last train out of breath while chasing repeatedly calling: Master! Master, and so I suddenly famous ah ~
passenger stuck his head out the window, slowly in front of me: Wukong. You do not chase the
6. Bio exam day, including a question is to look at the bird's leg to guess the bird's name. Some students really do not understand, angry on the paper a tear ready to leave the examination room. Invigilator very angry then asked him: Beautiful Mongolian actress After the performance, met with the leadership came to power, then her hand, Wenhanwennuan, half a day is not incensed, cordial asked: What's your name? The actress replied excitedly, A man bought a parrot would say Liangzi Who is that one day the owner was not at home, there is a change of gas to knock on the door.
Parrot: Who.
A: for gas
Parrot: Who.
A: for gas
... ...
door lying individual home owner, the owner wondering, Who is
door: for gas
9. One on the road to see a bunch of things, squat sniffed, said it might be going to the toilet, put his hand touched his mouth to lick the next point, that really is going to the toilet, but fortunately did not step on! ~
10. The doctor asked the patient how the fractures, A: I think there are sand shoes, shoes on leaning poles shake, shake ah shake ...... I think I have a personal electric shock, and then took a stick to me two stick.
11. A professor teaching in the field: One student quickly said: is the index finger 銆傘�傘�侫 public toilet, A Jun constipation, do not pull a long dragged out, then another man rushed Jun B, just squat on the crackling does not pull good fun, A-Jun, after hearing, said: Yeah, pull was so happy Some that are exercise bike, the front of a pedestrian, Moujun panic, shouting: Persevering ray ban sunglasses for men, some that hit pedestrians or riding too bad. Pedestrians got furious: Day, even called her mother, the little guy answered the telephone. Out of courtesy, I have to look at her greeting.
colleague's son, 4 years old. Classic sentence: Road in a car accident - a turtle nest cattle trampled. Police are investigating the cause of the accident, said Wo Niu: how the turtle hit you? The nest is hanging plaster uncertain ground beef recalls panic: I do not remember, he was too fast!
16. Stay in a lonely polar bear on ice in a daze, really bored and started pulling their hair play, one ... ... ... ... three ... two ... the last one does not pull the left, he suddenly cried out ... ... ... ... cold ah! ! ... ... ... ... ... ...
17. Colleague's daughter is a small Meirenpeizi, her mother came back from kindergarten often ask her: I do not feel beautiful. A couple of contraceptive failure epigenetic a little boy, the child's life out on the clenched fist, have been laughing. A nurse to break apart his fist. Found inside a pill, and then speak a little boy: Two men go to the mountains to play, who accidentally took a fall off a cliff, peer worried shouted: I still fall down it ~~~~~I am also the top, a man riding a bicycle, the handlebars are not palms, hands across their chests, after seeing a traffic police, said: palm good! The man replied, comrades!
21. Monkey asked the fox, how to describe an elephant up with a song that ass? Fox said: Leo's
24. A fashionable woman onto the bus, saw a fierce air urinal tissue wipe out a while, just to put a fart sitting Unfortunately, next to a man laughed:
25. Penguin is boring, I think of the Arctic to look for polar bears to play
walked away, taking many years, is coming, and suddenly think of it at home so gas did not shut
back, walked away, and went for many years, Close the gas, and starting, and walked away, and went for several years finally came to the polar bear
the door, knock on the door:
- polar bear! Come out to play!
polar bear:
- do not play.
26. Junior high school, a math teacher equation change, on the podium sleeves rolled loudly: Students pay attention! I want to deformed! ... ...
27. A judge strabismus, B, C three day trial of the suspects,
A judge said: I did not ask you. Aircraft, the crow of the flight attendants said: the pig, said: Q: Do you have carrots to sell here? impatient boss said no! After a child again asked the rabbit, the boss had had enough: if you come back trouble, I took scissors to cut your ears!
over the while the rabbit again: Do you have scissors to sell here? boss said: No, the rabbit asked: Do you sell here, there are no carrots ... ...
30.
devil devil seize the princess said: even though you called broken throat, that no one will rescue you!
Princess: broken throat, breaking the throat!
No: the princess, I'll save you!
devil: that Cao Cao Cao Cao went to!
Cao Cao: devil, you told me why?
devil: Wow, see a ghost!
ghost: by Chanel Sunglasses! was found.
by: Nonsense, who found me? < br> Who: Off I Pishi!
devil: oh, my god!
God: Why did I?!
Who: No one told you, ah!
no one: How can I! !!
had said to the devil from schizophrenia.
31. a king princess was asked to marriage, to an apple on the princess's head, who should have the opportunity to marry its princess shot < br> The first man shot in the apple, he said: kitchen knife to chase him, this man turned around and ran, ran until a dead end, thinking that this is over, the patient said: you knife, which you chase me.
33. flight attendant advised passengers seatbelt
? top with a bird!
35.
sun sun to grass to call: Hey, the grass you? my day.
grass: I grass, Who are you?
sun: I ah
on grass: I grass, you in the end Who
sun: I day ah, you grass it
grass: TMD, Who you in the end, I grass
Sun: My Day, I ah
on grass: I grass.
sun's mother grabbed the phone: grass, I on his mother, grass your mother okay?
36. male and female friends to go shopping,
girlfriend: Oh, good acid feet Oh.
boyfriend was nervous: how? is not stepped on a lemon?
37. Winnie asked the rabbit: rabbit said: 38 rabbits to the bakery: the boss, there are 100 small bread? boss: No next day the rabbit came again: the boss, there are 100 small bread? Boss: Sorry, no.
On the third day the door, rabbit: the boss, there are 100 small bread? boss: It was too embarrassing, or not.
rabbits bounce on the fourth day came: the boss, a hundred small bread? boss: Great! today 100 small bread ~!
rabbits: Great! give me two!
39. his father took the bus .
Son: Dad, what time to ah?
father: stop it to.
son: When to stop ah?
father: to stopped.
40. There was a man and a tiger were tied to two trees, the Tigers tied the rope below a candle, rope burns on Get out, and if the rope is blown, the tiger will eat the people, the results say a word, no eat
by Tiger said ! children in the house crying wolf night wolf keep out the night, morning, Wolf said, choking back tears, too: men, men are liars! ! !
42. The girl asked her boyfriend One day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home.
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home.
third day, the rabbits arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at a small rabbit exclaimed:
If you fucking dare to use the carrot as bait, I on the flat die!
44. Moujun first plane, fear, afraid to open eyes, eyes open after 15 minutes, look out the window, shouting: > sat next said: Sorry, made a mistake!! Hair stylist accidentally knocked off San Mao, a hair. San Mao sighed and said: I carve to a good pull. Yet another hair stylist accidentally knocked off the root. San Mao saw the fire: Ah you to want me disheveled?
47. Once there was a candy, long walk in the street, suddenly said: Oh my feet a good soft
48. M: Do you like me?
Female: You guess.
men: love!
woman: you guess again.
49. a mental patient in writing, the doctor asked: . ...... side while ......< br> children: his side of undress, while trousers.
Teacher comments: he in the end is to de ah? or wear ah?
Title: One
children: one a left foot injury I had.
Teacher comments: You are centipede it?
Title: after another
children: work, my father's home after another.
Teacher comments: in the end you have a few father ah?
Title: sad
children: a ditch in front of my home very sad.
Teacher comments: the teacher is more sad
topics: and they
children: my mother short and tall fat and skinny.
Teacher comments: Your mother is a deformation of magic it?
Title: You see
kids: Do you see what to see! never seen ah?
teacher reviews: Do not be too pulled
Title: thriving
children write: thriving Wing confession.
teacher reviews: Do not look too much drama!
Title: delicious
children write: delicious ass.
teacher :.........< br> Subject: naive < br> children to write: today's really hot.
teacher reviews: Do you really naive
Title: really
kids said: Yesterday I ate fruit and then turbid
teacher reviews: a phrase, can not be separated
topics: first ...... then ...... Example: eat first, then take a bath.
children: Sir, good-bye!
teacher reviews :........ .........< br> Topic: What is
children: a train passes Moreover Moreover Moreover Moreover
Teacher comments: I have to die
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